Stop the killing…

So I am having a tough day with the girls today. They are struggling with head colds and both of them want their mama. Close. I’m not sure who to look after first. I feel guilt ridden. But also a bit hard done by. I am trying my best, but today it’s just not good enough.

I am grateful though. Even for days like today. Because I have my two little girls. I can hold them close.  I know they are sound and asleep upstairs. When they wake, I can sit with them and cuddle them. I don’t have to fear strangers barging into my house to take them away. To hurt them. To do the unthinkable.

In Houla in Syria innocent people have been killed, at least 49 of them were children. I cannot start to imagine the fear, anger and grieve the families of those innocent children will have to go through. This blog post is my little contribution to a worldwide action to stop the violence. And there is something you can do to.

• You can sign the petition from Save The Children.
• You can sign the petition from Amnesty.
• You can blog about it, tweet about it or share the things you read on Facebook.
• You can RT tweets you see that use the hashtags #tippingpoint #syria #stopthekilling
• You can read more about the politics and facts known about the massacre in Houla, Syria here.

Am I losing it?

Ava has had a good few bad nights in a row now. I don’t know if it’s teething, a growth spurt, her eczema, the dummy or just that she’s getting too cute, but she started waking every hour lately. I feel like I’ve been getting through the past few days on automatic pilot. Absent minded. Like there is a thick mist inside my head that just doesn’t seem to clear up. Which has resulted in a few blunders over the last few days. Losing things, throwing dirty laundry in the bin, making cups of tea and forgetting about them, burning the porridge.

Yesterday evening saw me coming closer to really losing it. I put Ava in the bath, with her nappy still on. And only realized it after a good while.

As I was washing her, I thought how great it was that she finally seemed to settle a bit in the bath. No wriggling, throwing herself backwards. Just happy sitting up. I was delighted as she’s a big baby and hanging over the edge of the bath trying to keep her afloat is a back breaking exercise every evening. It was only when I started washing her legs that I felt her nappy. Poor thing wasn’t able to move as much as an inch. Her nappy soaked up half of the bath water and was weighing a ton. No wonder she was sitting so still.

Tonights bath was back to normal. Might have to start considering cleaning her bum first and putting her on a cheap nappy before lifting her into the bath. Will definitely be cheaper than needing physio in a few months time.

How do they do it?

So how do they do it? All those mummy bloggers out there that I’m following. How do they have the time and energy to keep their blogs up to date, fresh and entertaining?

It sounded like such a great idea a few months ago, this blog, but I have found lately that it’s feeling more like another chore to be done and “it’s been too long since I posted on my blog” rings like a constant niggling reminder in the back of my head.

I could come up with excuses. Himself is using the computer every evening, so I can’t get on it. If only I had my own laptop I would be doing loads of blogging. Or, there is a huge mountain of ironing that needs to be done first. If I don’t do it, no one will. Or, I have been dealing with a tantrum throwing toddler and a teething baby all day. I deserve a break.

The truth is, I am just too bloody tired. I haven’t had an eight hours sleep in…god I can’t even remember how long. And I am getting worried that the lack of sleep is causing my brain to slowly but surely die off. I am starting to find having adult conversations hard work. Don’t ask me what I did yesterday, let alone this day last week. My attention span can hardly compete with that of a two year old. And I find myself listening to a whole conversation and even talk back but not remembering a word of it an hour later.

So how I am supposed feeling the way I am, to come up with something that is funny, entertaining and maybe even interesting? How do I get my wits back together to give this blog another lash, to prevent it from dying a slow death? Any bloggers out there with advice, please feel free to comment.

Overheard

Overheard Himself and the toddler this morning. I’m upstairs getting dressed while Ava is asleep in her cot. Downstairs Mia is sitting in her high chair and coloring, Himself is doing the ware. <perfect family setting>

Says Mia: “Daddy, Daddy”.

Himself: “wauw, did you draw Daddy? That is very pretty, very abstract.”  After which Himself continues: “Mia, what color is this?” <silence> “This is green Mia.”

Mia sticks up one of her other crayons <I imagine, I was upstairs> and says “Dees?” <read as: “What color is this?”> Himself: “Euhm…I don’t know Mia, I’m not too sure.”

The educational intentions were there…just a pity Daddy isn’t too confident when it comes to Colors just yet.

Quality Time

The two days that Mia goes to the creche were getting a bit rushed lately. It became a bit too much of a rat race, trying to fit in as much housekeeping, shopping, catching up with friends as possible before pick up time for Mia came around again. All with little Ava in tow. She is getting a bigger now and doesn’t sleep as much anymore. She needs a bit more attention and I felt that the last few weeks those two days for her were very much about being moved from the carseat, into the buggy, back into the carseat, into the bouncer, into the carseat and so on. It was getting a bit unfair on her really.

Getting her ready for her morning nap Wednesday morning, the big bed looked very tempting all of a sudden, so I decided that she deserved a bit of mama time. She slept for three hours in my arms, just woke for a lovely comfort feed before dosing off again. It did us both the world of good.  Minding two babies under the age of two means go go go all the time and I think Ava has lacked a bit of cuddly time lately. Those three hours were a nice reminder for me that she needs plenty of TLC too. Just like Mia got when she was a small baby. And you know what…we did it all over again the next day!

Because housekeeping can wait, but my babies won’t be babies for much longer.

With mama in the big bed, for a three hour long morning sleep.

Green Tea

I asked Himself to make me a cup of tea the other day. “What kinda of tea?”, He asked. “Green Tea, please.” And does it have to be “fennel flavor”, or “lemon flavor” or “just camomile”, he snorted.

How dare he? Slagging me for trying out different flavored green tea. Grand for him. I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for the last two and a half years. Meaning I’m off the coffee (only decaf), wine, beer and basically anything else that helps to lift the spirits for a very long time. Green tea, water and decaf lattes is what I’m surviving on. I am sure that even a green tea fanatic, needs to have a bit of variation once in a while.

My latest find. Pukka Refresh. Made from organic peppermint, fennel & rose. To Uplift and Balance. Because I’m worth it!

Crazy March Weather

Mia ready to go to the creche! Winter Jacket for the morning chill, sun hat for the afternoon.