Sunday Evening

Sunday Evening and having “that” Sunday evening feel. For the first time in about eight months. For all those past few months, Sunday evening was an evening like any other. But from tomorrow on everything will change. Because I’m going back to work. And with that comes “that” Sunday evening feel. A mix of slight frustration that the weekend was too short, a bit of anticipation but a certain degree of dread and anxiety too. Will work be all right this week? Do I have everything ready for the morning rush? I hope the kids will be in good form, that they don’t get sick.

I have really really enjoyed my maternity leave. Where as the first time the whole experience was probably a bit overwhelming, I was much better prepared for the hard work and sleepless nights the second time around. Maybe against expectations I found it actually much easier minding two little girls, compared to just one. Because Mia was that bit older she was actually great company. Ava has been a very easy going baby, who spend the first three months sleeping most of the day. It’s only the last few weeks that she started demanding more attention and that I was finding it harder to divide myself and give the two girls the attention they needed. I have definitely been more adventurous this time around too and we’ve been out and about a lot. When it wasn’t raining. I had a better social network to fall back to as well.

I know we will manage when I go back to work tomorrow. We’re not the only couple juggling two young kids with full time (well I’m actually only going back 4/5) jobs. It’s going to be tough. Financially, emotionally, physically. But we’ll manage. And I’m grateful I have a job to return to. And for the eight months that I was able to spend with the girls. If I was still living back home, maternity leave would have ended five months ago. So I won’t complain.

But I’m feeling anxious. And I know I probably won’t sleep too well tonight. I’ll be checking my alarm clock every hour (even though Ava will probably wake me before that). Going through the morning routine in my head all night. – Feed Ava, have a shower and get dressed, express milk, get the kids dressed, make Ava’s bottles, have their bags ready for  the creche, Denis will be gone by 7.30am so get the kids in the car for eight myself, bring them to the creche, deal with Ava being upset the first few mornings, rush to work. Still breast feeding, so will be driving home the first few weeks for lunch, express milk, rush back to the office. Work and worry about the evening routine. Drive home, give the kids dinners, start our dinner, give the kids their baths, Ava her milk, Mia her bottle, into bed by 7pm, have something to eat, catch up on washing and ironing, prepare food and bottles for the kids for the next day,…. Must sound familiar to millions and millions of parents out there. And if they can do it, we can do it too!

Wish me luck though. I’ll need it!