Sunday Evening

Sunday Evening and having “that” Sunday evening feel. For the first time in about eight months. For all those past few months, Sunday evening was an evening like any other. But from tomorrow on everything will change. Because I’m going back to work. And with that comes “that” Sunday evening feel. A mix of slight frustration that the weekend was too short, a bit of anticipation but a certain degree of dread and anxiety too. Will work be all right this week? Do I have everything ready for the morning rush? I hope the kids will be in good form, that they don’t get sick.

I have really really enjoyed my maternity leave. Where as the first time the whole experience was probably a bit overwhelming, I was much better prepared for the hard work and sleepless nights the second time around. Maybe against expectations I found it actually much easier minding two little girls, compared to just one. Because Mia was that bit older she was actually great company. Ava has been a very easy going baby, who spend the first three months sleeping most of the day. It’s only the last few weeks that she started demanding more attention and that I was finding it harder to divide myself and give the two girls the attention they needed. I have definitely been more adventurous this time around too and we’ve been out and about a lot. When it wasn’t raining. I had a better social network to fall back to as well.

I know we will manage when I go back to work tomorrow. We’re not the only couple juggling two young kids with full time (well I’m actually only going back 4/5) jobs. It’s going to be tough. Financially, emotionally, physically. But we’ll manage. And I’m grateful I have a job to return to. And for the eight months that I was able to spend with the girls. If I was still living back home, maternity leave would have ended five months ago. So I won’t complain.

But I’m feeling anxious. And I know I probably won’t sleep too well tonight. I’ll be checking my alarm clock every hour (even though Ava will probably wake me before that). Going through the morning routine in my head all night. – Feed Ava, have a shower and get dressed, express milk, get the kids dressed, make Ava’s bottles, have their bags ready for  the creche, Denis will be gone by 7.30am so get the kids in the car for eight myself, bring them to the creche, deal with Ava being upset the first few mornings, rush to work. Still breast feeding, so will be driving home the first few weeks for lunch, express milk, rush back to the office. Work and worry about the evening routine. Drive home, give the kids dinners, start our dinner, give the kids their baths, Ava her milk, Mia her bottle, into bed by 7pm, have something to eat, catch up on washing and ironing, prepare food and bottles for the kids for the next day,…. Must sound familiar to millions and millions of parents out there. And if they can do it, we can do it too!

Wish me luck though. I’ll need it!

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Walk

So I went for a walk this evening. On my own. Without pushing a buggy. To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I went for a walk. Alone. Empty handed. With no purpose other than the sake of the walk. Enjoyed it. Lovely evening. Tom Petty playing at Live at the Marquee in the background. Stopped for a bottle of water in a shop. And seeing as I had two hands free I treated myself to an ice cream too. Must definitely do it again. The walk that is. Getting an ice cream every time mightn’t be such a good idea.

And I am meaning to go on as I started this weekend. Himself is on night duty, I am going to try to get a long needed uninterrupted sleep for myself. He promised to get up when Ava cries. If it works out ok, I might even venture into town for a few hours in the morning. With no kids. Must start getting ready for going back to work in a few weeks time. And I have nothing to wear! Have a lovely weekend all!

Stop the killing…

So I am having a tough day with the girls today. They are struggling with head colds and both of them want their mama. Close. I’m not sure who to look after first. I feel guilt ridden. But also a bit hard done by. I am trying my best, but today it’s just not good enough.

I am grateful though. Even for days like today. Because I have my two little girls. I can hold them close.  I know they are sound and asleep upstairs. When they wake, I can sit with them and cuddle them. I don’t have to fear strangers barging into my house to take them away. To hurt them. To do the unthinkable.

In Houla in Syria innocent people have been killed, at least 49 of them were children. I cannot start to imagine the fear, anger and grieve the families of those innocent children will have to go through. This blog post is my little contribution to a worldwide action to stop the violence. And there is something you can do to.

  • You can sign the petition from Save The Children.
  • You can sign the petition from Amnesty.
  • You can blog about it, tweet about it or share the things you read on Facebook.
  • You can RT tweets you see that use the hashtags #tippingpoint #syria #stopthekilling
  • You can read more about the politics and facts known about the massacre in Houla, Syria here.

How do they do it?

So how do they do it? All those mummy bloggers out there that I’m following. How do they have the time and energy to keep their blogs up to date, fresh and entertaining?

It sounded like such a great idea a few months ago, this blog, but I have found lately that it’s feeling more like another chore to be done and “it’s been too long since I posted on my blog” rings like a constant niggling reminder in the back of my head.

I could come up with excuses. Himself is using the computer every evening, so I can’t get on it. If only I had my own laptop I would be doing loads of blogging. Or, there is a huge mountain of ironing that needs to be done first. If I don’t do it, no one will. Or, I have been dealing with a tantrum throwing toddler and a teething baby all day. I deserve a break.

The truth is, I am just too bloody tired. I haven’t had an eight hours sleep in…god I can’t even remember how long. And I am getting worried that the lack of sleep is causing my brain to slowly but surely die off. I am starting to find having adult conversations hard work. Don’t ask me what I did yesterday, let alone this day last week. My attention span can hardly compete with that of a two year old. And I find myself listening to a whole conversation and even talk back but not remembering a word of it an hour later.

So how I am supposed feeling the way I am, to come up with something that is funny, entertaining and maybe even interesting? How do I get my wits back together to give this blog another lash, to prevent it from dying a slow death? Any bloggers out there with advice, please feel free to comment.

Green Tea

I asked Himself to make me a cup of tea the other day. “What kinda of tea?”, He asked. “Green Tea, please.” And does it have to be “fennel flavor”, or “lemon flavor” or “just camomile”, he snorted.

How dare he? Slagging me for trying out different flavored green tea. Grand for him. I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for the last two and a half years. Meaning I’m off the coffee (only decaf), wine, beer and basically anything else that helps to lift the spirits for a very long time. Green tea, water and decaf lattes is what I’m surviving on. I am sure that even a green tea fanatic, needs to have a bit of variation once in a while.

My latest find. Pukka Refresh. Made from organic peppermint, fennel & rose. To Uplift and Balance. Because I’m worth it!

End of season bargain

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Haven’t bought nice clothes for myself in ages. Am at that awkward stage where I am not really back to my normal size yet and apart from one pair, all my jeans and skirts are still (a little) too tight. Not great for shopping. Don’t want to buy pants that are (hopefully) too big in month or two (that is if I ever stop stuffing myself with lattes and cakes and chocolate biscuits). And as long as I’m breastfeeding, I can’t buy dresses yet either. So all I can buy are (loose) tops, jackets and shoes. So that’s exactly what I did. Got this end of season bargain in Zara the other day. Will do me on days that I am just not able for it. For days I feel only want be in one place and that’s bed. Or for the days where even the hair straightener can’t fix it.

Welcoming of 5000th inhabitant in Hove, Antwerp – lead role by MY MUM!

Inhuldiging Geelhandlaan en verwelkoming 5.000ste inwoner. A friend of my mums send this video on to her via Facebook. Azura.be is a project between seven suburbs of Antwerp, to share historic videos and images. Having a Masters in Contemporary History, I was indeed very excited to discover the website. Even more so, because my mum plays a major role in the video below. Born in 1956, she was the 5000th inhabitant of Hove, a lovely town within commuter distance of Antwerp. Pretty cool footage to have of the family. My grandmother, my aunt and two uncles, my grandfather and my mum as a baby. In black and white. It’s like watching a history documentary on tele, but you actually know the people that are featured. Got me excited anyway!